Looking Backwards 

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Do you ever find yourself looking to your past for comfort… too often? Recently, I have caught myself reminiscing about my high school days A LOT. I have many happy memories from that time. Life was so easy to be young and careless! Just driving around, in an old crappy car, blasting music with my friends at the beach. It was like we lived in a cheesy teenage movie. Too often I forget all the hard things I endured during that time. It is easy to romanticize the past….

I don’t want to be “that person” that is always saying “Remember when?” I think I am having trouble figuring out my new title. As much as I know it’s Katie; wife, graphic designer, daughter, sister, friend…. I don’t like all the extra responsibilities that comes with this role hahah. I have to check in with my parents… because I hardly see them. I have to remember to pay bills, work, and keep the house tidy. Frankly, I know I am being a BIG BABY about growing up hahah… and I don’t know why. Like a month ago I was pumped off of adulthood … but secretly I have been looking backwards into my past for comfort.

Honestly, I think it all started when my old friend told me she planned to move away to California next year, with her man. which I am SO HAPPY for her of course!! It’s what she has always wanted to do.. But I will really miss her. Another friend from college disappeared from social media, and it just really rubbed in the fact that everything is completely different from how it was 5 years ago. Life will never be that way again. I am afraid that I am SO mourning the past that I will miss the present. Why am I so scared to be present?? …. I think the miscarriage opened up a part of my soul that was buried deep.. and only strengthened some of my insecurities. Clearly I have a lot of new things to work through with myself. One thing is for SURE. Today I am looking into the next hour!! I want to be present. 🙂 Edward just got an AMAZING new job that he is sooo excited for!! We celebrated with burgers and shakes tonight lol. I am so glad I can talk to him about all these things. He is so wise and loving in his encouragement. AND I am so blessed to have you all!! 🙂

Click the follow button, on your right, to see what happens next xoxo. -Kate

Twitter: @katieruiz94 | Instagram: katieruiz94

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